From July 2009 to January 2011 I got the best of materialistic life, but from this section of my life I don't consider anything worth mentioning in a form of story , though it was the most happening one. Just because I want to be true with my readers and want to give them a true account of my life step by step, I am mentioning all of it in form of casual details. It's not like this whole time was absolutely, people who love drama, action and tragedy it was the best for them, but I preferred emotions and I was out of it in this period. I also now understood that why people, very busy in earning materialistic life don't feel much.
After loosing my love of life (As I thought) I was hopeless and faithless at the same time. I had completed my Post Graduation and did not have anything to do or work on. I was never a freak for earning or getting a job. I always believed that I will do something or the other needed to be happy in the given circumstance, and so not ever tried for a job or filled a form even for so. Now I thought to move in from the tragedy I had and to begin with it, I knew I had to socialize. I joined a coaching again (as I had experience that it's one of the cheapest and best to do so) for a computer course of, it's name was Tech up.
Before I start you telling the most villainous story, I want you to get into my mindset that time. I was a boy who was unable to even tell a girl about his love for her, 8 year's back, now the same girl had broken me immensely. I was left alone to suffer for the second consecutive time after being truly involved in both. I was carrying a mentality with me that all this love shit was just a joke and meant only for one thing, Enjoying, till you can, without worrying of other's feeling, and so, I too followed the same path. Just that my way of enjoying became even more critical.
At first while I started taking classes, two girls Ikcha and Aabida came near me. Both of them lasted for a month each and ditched afterwards ( just because the details are minimised don't think that I compromised by leaving anything undone.) In two months the coaching staff found that I am skilled enough to join them as faculty and so I left the course and joined as a faculty there after few interviews. Chances of getting good prospects for my pleasure improved. My next victim or say love in worldly words was Parul. She was a strange girl, as she was the best faculty present over there by looks and reason for fantasy of many. She did agreed to do everything not just for the upper limit of it, as she believed that it should be for her husband only. Till then the boy with tender heart was completely changed into a monster. I challenged myself to undo her oath and I completed my task soon, but it took a lot of emotional drama, in which I was expert till then. After 6 months she got married and we were apart without even a word of sorry, she was practical as most of the girls of time, I was too, now.
Next was Pankhi, one of my student, about to my age, who joined me for the spoken classes, which was a part of her ongoing package of courses. On the very first day I was thrilled to see her. Among all the girls I had been ( if you take emotional context out of it), she was the best looking. She belonged to a punjabi family and had all the attributes of it. With 5'6" height, 36-24-36 ( if it can be beaten by any other no. mind that) strong built, wearing mild make-up, strikingly smooth, light brown skin, she looked like a tough competition for anybodies favorite girl. I soon noticed that she was also the talk of the town in there. I instantly used my unbeatable charm and vicious wit to tackle her up and as expected, succeeded. Her amazing charm even blew a fresh air of emotions in me for sometime and again I started to see things about me which I had long lost. We planned for marriage and she made me meet her mother too. I even announced at my home in spite of the cast factor that I will marry her, they were happy and sad both, at the same time. Happy to see me happy after along time and sad because they knew may be, that what's going to happen in the end. After her one month course and enjoying in all the ways possible to imagine with me, she left for Solan, Himanchal. I was so blinded in her charm that I even took a leave from my work and followed her there and tried to get a job there so that we could spend time together. I reached there in two days by changing a train and two buses and travelling continuously, She came to meet me in a general store and wished me luck for a job and said it's the only hope to continue with her or else she could not make her parents agree. Just listening to these words of her woke me from the dream I was in. I knew she was practically true, but I always preferred emotions. Without even trying for a job I left the place instantly. I returned in three days, travelling continuously again and by changing five buses, Solan to Chandigarh, Chandigarh to Jalandhar, Jalandhar to Delhi, Delhi to Kanpur and Kanpur to Allahabad. For 6 days I had been in buses only for a meeting in a general store which turned out into a cold heart suggestion to me for keeping in touch. I was not broken though, not even hurt, all this I had been through already, so much that I did not even became sad for it even for one day. But it had one effect, it enlarged the monster even more, till now I was only behind fulfilling my pleasures but now this pleasure was no more there and it took it's troll through other's pain. I felt even more brutal and emotionless.
I left that job on return and took another one in one of the college in city, named V.I.T. This job was better paying and had even more options for fulfilling my craving for pleasure in other's pain. For 6 month's of my joining I just enjoyed the materialistic pleasures but it became unable to stop the monster any longer. I took my first victim there, Rashmi who became a headache while getting rid of, she was too emotional and unacceptable to the fact hat someone can even leave her. After two months she met the same faith as others did. Soon I took another one, Rakhi the most practical one. Just one good bye and she never even bothered to ask why? I liked this attitude of her's that time, wished all could be like that. She lasted for three months, and history repeated itself.
In this period of three years I made out with few others too, some for weeks and few for a month at most. I have nothing to mention about them, beside I had with them just physically, without any emotional attachment.
All this time playing the game of love, I came to know about other prospect of mine. I loved teaching and telling my students what I felt about life and other experiences. I loved the work, so much so that I worked continuously in college timings as no one else did, not even with half of my efforts. Student loved me and I loved them even more as in my (unknown even to me) (painful) lonesomeness they became my prime area of concern. I gave all I had to them and they returned it with all the love they had. In stead of feeding the monster within me I started loving the work I did. Soon the monster started weakening and died sometime later without even me, noticing it. I stopped finding new victims. I was happy again. I was relieved. My student's happiness, there affection to me, there respect to me helped me to become a better person form what I had become. It was three years, in which I made many suffer and suffered even more in the process, but it ended at last.
It's January of 2011, I started with a new outlook about things I needed, and loved, to do for being happy. I loved to teach and to follow the things I teach to those budding flowers of feelings about life, and how to control these new feelings, in them. To drive all they had into the right direction, I started moving on the right path too. I was happy to be in the position of, not loved by any but liked by many.
Was it possible to continue like this? I wanted to, but was it? Everyone needs someone, only for him or her, sometime. I also needed now. With the death of the monster, I started feeling things again, and with this feeling came the believe that Love is still there, if I am happy after being through all I had, destiny must have had something special for me, I was waiting for that special one now, though unknowingly.
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