6- Ricksaw: ASHIYA (2)

I gave her my skillfully filled up slam book and the one I had bought too. She smiled first by seeing that I had a new slam book which she must have understood that I took just for her to fill. She took that and kept both of it in her bag without saying anything. I asked her, "Don't you want to read it?" She replied, "Later." That day was hardest to pass and I was eagerly waiting for the next day to take mine back. Actually I had given few hints in few columns that  I like her in her slam book, and what will she reply thought, was haunting me. Next day I just came to know that she had not filled mine till now. All my excitement shifted to the next day. After 4 days she returned me my slam book. It's first page was filled with glittering words and in a writing which even could have made calligraphers look dwarf. It took a long pause before I started reading. I am mentioning here few columns as they still read in my slam book the same-
I would like to go on a date with- A true boy
One thing missing in my life- A boyfriend
I like you because you are- Having a bundle of qualities like, Smart, Stylish, Sincere, Saline, Sane and last but not the least, "SENSATIONAL PERSONALITY"
I read last lines dozen times and was thinking to myself, is it? Do I really have such qualities? I thanked my parents for endowing me with such charm. Right then I noticed that after few pages there was a letter. A love poem was written on it. Now what? I didn't attach any such letter while I gave her her's. Shit. No problem. I was again on the book store and this time a letter pad was in my list. We started giving each other a letter everyday, on which, few poetical lines were written. All of her lines used to be copy but I always wrote mine, my own lines in a form of reply to one's she used to give. She was totally impressed now, I knew that. Still it was Deepak kumar upadhyay, who did not proposed a girl for 4 years in-spite of the confirmation of acceptance. 

Now only one month was left for our course to complete. We had stopped attending classes. We were even limited now to a group of 6. Two boys and four girls. The other boy of our group left because I had won and he understood that he got no chance with Ashiya. Girls left seeing that both the boys are already engaged so there is nothing left. ( It's also possible that they left because they were unable to bunk daily like us. O.K. jokes apart)

One day, we were sitting at Saraswati Ghat below new bridge, I still remember the date by chance, It was 28th August 2005 and surely every word she said. She asked, "Deepak, do you like me?" I replied, " Of course." She said again, " But I love you." " Me too", I replied. I never understood, and I think I won't be able to understand it ever, that why it needs to be said?Beside just move it to next level which is physical of course. If two people like each other they know it all the time that whom they like, and who liked them. Still, we live in a society in which these are unsaid rules. 

I was happy, next one month passed like a dream. We both bought two brand new Reliance phones for being online 24*7. In September last that year, once I saw how much time I had spent on phone it was showing- Dialed calls- 480 hours. Received- 5 hours. Calculate it then minus it from hours in a month and add hours we spent in coaching. We were almost in touch all the time in that month. No matter it was day or night, even that we are talking or not, phone had to be online. Sleeping, breathing, coughing, snoring, everything was part of our conversations for that month. Biggest problem, that phone disconnects every one hour. If it happens and next call not comes within a minute I was dead. You slept while talking to me na? I am so boring na? All these questions had to be answered.

After meeting in coaching at 5, we used to take a ricksaw in which we roamed round and round of whole city. Allahabad had nothing to visit of special quality, as it is a city made for students historically, not for love birds. Still we managed, sometime in parks like Bharadwaj, S.G. etc. and few times at sangam, our favorite spot. Still the best time was that ricksaw ride. When hiring a ricksaw I had to take  great care that it had to have a good little covering in front so that we can hide ourselves sitting tall in back, and no body can see us while kissing each other. 
All this time I was unable to forget Roli too, whom you must remember. Often she came in my mind, Still don't know what was there in Ashiya's company, I used to forget everything beside her. We visited almost all the places possible for spending time. Watched 3 or 4 films too, every week, not the blockbusters but the flop ones. We used to kiss each other for hours continuously with only breaks for breathing, without being exhausted at all. Many a times we planned to meet somewhere where we can meet, sit and obviously can take the next step which was necessary may be to take now. Hotels, Friend's rooms etc.  all kind of options she gave but I denied all of them adjudging them too risky. At that time I was just happy in whatever I had. Anyway, anyhow it not became possible for us to meet like that and our coaching came to an end.

On farewell day we didn't have any courage to go for classes and collect our cerificate as we had not attended any classes in last one month. We took a ricksaw and asked him to go Sangam. We discussed everything that how will we meet now and how we will be in touch. She promised that nothing's gonna change because of our separation, beside we will just meet a bit less than we used to do. We hugged each other for the first time that day. I was aware of people staring at us but noticed that she was totally unaware and unconcerned of it with eyes closed on my back. At last she left in that same ricksaw for her home and I was standing right there on the ghat of sangam. She was going away as fast as sun was setting and just then my phone rang. It was showing Ashiya calling. I took it, and she said, "I love you and I can never forget you." I put it down and started running. After running a mile I caught her. Stopped ricksaw and said to her, I love you too, even I can't forget you."

I came back Ballia and she went to her hometown Kanpur. We used to talk often on phone but not that frequently. We also planned to visit Allahabad soon, together, so that we can meet. 

One day she shocked me telling that we can't talk now for a month as she was suffering from a minor brain tumor and had to go a major surgery for which she was going to U.S. I was unable to utter a single word. I said o.k. and she put the phone down after promising that she will call later on returning back. Few months passed, Her number was switched off all this time, soon I got busy in my final exams of graduation. 

An year after I came to know from one of my coaching friend that she met Ashiya in his college where he was doing M.B.A. in Lucknow. I asked him to give her my number and ask her to talk me. Next day he told me that she denied knowing either him or me. I was not much shocked this time. Till now I had got that she lied to me about her illness too.

The boy who was unable to tell a girl that he loved her for years, proposed by a girl later, loved, promised and ditched by the same, was learning slowly the means and methods of his society, to which he was till now secluded by the cushion of his parents and lonesomeness. That day and today, I never heard about Ashiya, nothing. I never even blamed her for anything, just made myself understand that our short little one month's journey was similar to those " Ricksaw rides" we used to take. A ricksaw puller pulls all the way through to your destination with full effort, may be even talking to you, but neither he can see your face nor you. Once you leave a ricksaw, next time neither he can tell that who was his customer, nor you can tell that this was the ricksaw puller that day in that little journey.